Phan: The Balcony Scene - Oneshot

Phil's POV

"Excuse me, have you seen Phil anywhere?"

"Uh, nope, sorry."

"Fuck. He's got to be around here somewhere."

As soon as I heard Dan leave the balcony and enter the apartment, I sighed heavily and pulled my legs to my chest. Thanks to the huge, thick tablecloth draping over the outside table, I couldn't be seen. I didn't want to be seen.

We were having a party at our apartment. It was the fifth of November. Dan had always said that it was an important event, even though it never really had an exact importance or reasoning. It was probably so 'important' because it was an excuse to get drunk. But it didn't feel right. I didn't want to be in my own home. All these people I didn't even know were flooding my whole apartment and I didn't like it. So, what did I do? I hid. I needed to get away from everyone, especially Dan.

Dan and I had been together for six months. The first couple of months had been great. Sleeping together, someone to cuddle up to, being able to kiss the man I loved- all amazing things. I was so happy, Dan was so happy, and obviously we came out about our sexuality on Youtube. The viewers accepted us and everything was like before. However, after those couple of months, we began to drift apart. We had been seeing Chris and PJ a lot. Chris and Dan had been getting really close, and if I was quite honest, I was scared. I was scared Dan loved Chris, and not me. This obviously resulted in awkward questions, arguments, un-meaningful 'I love you's and a lot of time spent without each other.  I didn't want to spend time without Dan, but it was for my own good.

"Phil? Is that...?"

I lifted up my head to be greeted with Dan's worried face under the table. He didn't leave the balcony after all. His worried expression turned into relief as soon as he saw my own face. I bit my tongue. That relief didn't stay long. It turned to anger, almost. His eyes bore into my own, crushing my heart.

"Phil! What are you doing under the table? I've been looking for you everywhere. Get out and join in with everyone." Dan spat harshly.

Reluctantly, I crawled out from under the tiny circular table and stood up, ignoring the glances from Dan's friends. The people I didn't even know. The people who Dan invited so he could get away from me, anger me and rip apart my confidence. I stared out at Manchester town. It really did look beautiful at night.

"You know, I was actually quite worried about you." Dan said, leaning on the balcony rails beside me.

My grip on the balcony bars tightened. "No you weren't. You were glad that I was missing."

"What? No, I was really worried." Dan replied while staring at me with a confused expression.

"NO, DAN, YOU WEREN'T." I exploded. This was it. I needed to explain what I was feeling. It had taken months for this to happen, and now, this day had finally come. "You were never worried about me, because you didn't even care! Did you?! No, I actually did a huge favour for you. Phil got out of the way so Dan could spend some time with his friends. In fact, you wanted QUALITY time with them, right?! You could kiss any guy you wanted, because Phil wouldn't even suspect a thing! WELL, I DID! I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND CHRIS! I know you're in love. Come on, Dan, try and make it hard for me to suspect. Friends don't just give harmless kisses! Kisses are between two lovers! AND, DAN, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, WE'RE IN LOVE. I can't believe you would cheat on me. If you were in love with Chris, you should've just told me. I didn't want to find out on my own accord..."

Tears streamed down my face. I wasn't angry any more. I was just disappointed, sad. Dan stared at me, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, hands loose on the railing. I tried to fight back with him. His eyes pierced into mine, slitting them open, all my emotions pouring out onto the ground and slithering away. I tried to stare deeper into his. I failed. Without warning, Dan grabbed my waist and pulled me close.

"No, Phil. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. None of that is true. I promise you. I swear on my own life, you're the only one I love. You're my Phil. I could never cheat on you." Dan spoke softly.

"Well, what was all that stuff about kissing Chris and stuff like that?" I replied quietly.

Dan sighed and rubbed my back. "I don't know. I suppose I was missing all the affection I got from you. I loved the way you'd jump onto the sofa and snuggle up with me. I know it doesn't give me an excuse to kiss Chris though. There is nothing going on between Chris and I, I promise. He's with PJ, didn't you know? I suppose I wanted to play with PJ's feelings."

"You played with mine too." I choked, feeling tears in my eyes.

"Yes, baby, I know, and I literally can't tell you how sorry I am. I'm so fucking stupid. I'm so sorry. Phil, you need to forgive me. I love you so much. You make me so happy. I can't even- I just-Ph-Phil, I love you more than anything. Please, just please, forgive me."

I could hear Dan welling up too. Despite myself, I placed my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek softly. No way could I not let this go. I could tell he was sorry. He started to shake a little and grab my body harder. Of course I could forgive him. I blinked away the tears and kissed his cheek once more.

"I believe you, Dan. I forgive you too. Just don't play with PJ's feelings again, because it affects me too."

Dan lifted his head and smiled. I returned with one of my own. From now on, I promised him affection. I promised him love, no arguments, and intercourse, even though, if I'm perfectly honest, it would probably turn into a rape scenario. He was my Dan, I was his Phil, and I loved him so much. I forgot every little thing that happened in the last few months. Every little detail. It was all in the past.

And at that moment, right at that very moment, fireworks set off over Manchester. Millions of colourful specks dotted the night sky above. Orange flowers with bright, fiery petals, deep blue explosions, mellow purple swirls, neon green stars – they were all beautiful. My smile grew wider with every new colour that appeared in the sky as I squeezed Dan's torso even harder. Fresh tears slid down my cheeks. But this time, they were happy tears. I couldn't have asked for a better situation to be in. With Dan's arms wrapped around me, the mellow music in the background, the fireworks, random people and party, I could easily say I was happy. I looked up at Dan. He looked down at me, let go of my waist, placed a strand of hair over my ear and kissed my nose.

"I love you." He whispered softly.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

This time I meant it. I really, really, really did.